Photos from Nicaragua!

Here is my final slideshow of pictures from Nicaragua:

The Best of Nicaragua

Books I've Read in Nicaragua

In English:

1. W. Somerset Maugham -- Of Human Bondage
2. John Steinbeck -- The Grapes of Wrath
3. Edmund Morris -- Theodore Rex
4. Tracey Kidder -- House
5. Alan Patton -- Cry, the Beloved Country
6. Ralph Lee Woodward, Jr. -- Central America: A Nation Divided
7. Truman Capote -- In Cold Blood
8. Gioconda Belli -- The Country Under My Skin
9. Ann Patchett -- Bel Canto


In Spanish:

1. Pilar Molina Llorente -- Ut Y Las Estrellas
2. Paulo Coehlo -- El Alquimista
3. Paulo Coehlo -- Veronika Decide Morir

For Now, The End of Traveling

Sometimes when I explain to people my plan -- to spend the first two years out of college traveling and volunteering at organizations in developing countries -- people have told me that this is a good idea because then ¨I´ll get it out of my system.¨ Comments like these always make me smile because they allow me to see just how poorly the speaker understands me. My desire to work and study abroad comes from a deeper, life-long yearning to understand and know the world we live in.

But there is a time for everything. And on the eve of my departure, I feel that I am ready to return home for a while. I´m looking forward to studying again in Chicago this fall because I think my course will eventually give me the tools I need to understand the world in a deeper way and one day make a larger impact.

More fundamentally, I know well that traveling is not forever. The genius of it is in coming to a foreign place and seeing it with widely opened eyes. These moments of exploration have such magic in them, a magic that is beautiful because it is fleeting. We are all transitory creatures in this world, but we feel our transitory nature more viscerally in encounters like these. After spending the majority of the past four years doing just this, I am ready to take a break. For a variety of reasons, I feel a bit tired of traveling at the moment, having done much of what I wanted to do here, and am looking forward to being still for a while at home.

The truth is that we will not be given an unlimited amount of moments like this. There are only so many times that you can play frisbee in a park in Benin or fly kites on a rooftop in India with large groups of exuberant children and have it be one of the most joyful moments of your life, for that joy is partially derived from the spontaneity of the encounter. All the times that I met old men on the street and played chess, or had families invite me back to their houses for dinner, or shared a hilarious conversation with a perfect stranger on the bus, were so potent in part because they could not be replicated. I had to live the moment fully lest it be lost.

Over the course of my travels, a great number of kind individuals and families have invited me into their world. It may have been only for an hour, or for a few days, or for a few months. Here in Nicaragua too I´ve been granted that privilege numerous times: to make friends, live with a family, and share some of their world. It´s hard for me to express my gratitude, but this really is the thing that I have wanted most here.

Likewise, over my time traveling, I´ve enjoyed a wide variety of natural pursuits: in the Thar desert and the Sahel, the Himalayas and Fiordlands, along Caribbean beaches and Ganges delta. But one can only so often hike into the crater of a volcano, traverse snow-capped ridges, cut a path through a dense tropical jungle, or stand in the middle of a desert and feel space extend all about you so many times and have it be the most formative experience of your life. Those first encounters are the most precious, because you see for the first time a new wrinkle in this beautiful world, you feel the full force of the land inside you in a way you didn´t quite before. As a kid at summer camp, I feel lucky to have cultivated a love of natural spaces, and so each sunset, mountain top, impossibly starry night, and late evening descending into dusk is special to me.

I´ll take a break now from experiencing these things abroad, but they are indeed all around us in the States, if only we take the time from our busy daily lives to look around and appreciate it. This is something that I think has been a bit of a challenge for me in the past, breaking out of the confines and habits of daily life to find what´s surprising, so I´m looking forward to it now. But just because these moments from abroad have gone and past does not mean that they are done: To the contrary, I carry them with me always, as they have helped forge who I am.

I went back to visit Las Tias this afternoon, the school where I volunteered for two months with at-risk children. I was overwhelmed by the response I got from when I returned: They remembered me well, all our songs and games, and were thrilled to see me. After we had sung and clapped like old times, Cristobal asked me when I´d be returning. It´s a common question I´ve received from my Nicaragua friends in recent days. I told her that I wasn´t exactly sure, but that after my year studying in the university I would have to again decide what I wanted to do. To a nine year old, a year must sound like a long time, and she worried that I would forget her. No, I told her, that´s impossible. I could never forget her, could never forget what we shared here.

¡No Hay Aqua!

Life here is getting just a little bit intolerable.

For a significant portion of the last several days, the city of León has been entirely without water. Everybody´s talking about it and nobody has it.

Indeed, as the headlines on the newspaper blare, this is a reality for most of Nicaragua. As much as half the population has been left without potable water. The electricity has frequently been out too, with various barrios crippled during different times of the day. In Managua, frustrated residents in the capital lit bonfires to protest the energy failures.

All this has very practical implications: For much of the day, we have no drinking water. We have no water for showering. None for washing dishes. Or the laundry. Or for cooking. And no water for flushing the toilet. This is getting gross.

This leads, of course, to tensions and frustrations both within households and communities. It is still hot here each day, and not being allowed to shower after a long day feels like a sweaty punishment.

Last night I had to run out to the store to buy a gallon of bottled water (and I hate bottled water) so we could have some to wash the vegetables and boil the rice and pawns for my birthday paella.

Worse still, the newspapers state that because the state power company and the workers failed to reach an agreement, and because the demand for power is so high, the shut-down might continue until the end of the year. Unable to cook, shower, brush, and flush, most everyone is fed up.

Sure, there are several strategies families employ to alleviate the effects of the water cuts. Ubiquitous in ever Nicaraguan home is pila, which is basically a multi-purpose sink for washing, divided into three basins, one of which can left filled with water when it does indeed flow. Families also fill large covered barrels with water, scooping them out by the bucket when needed. But none of this can alter the fundamental inconvenience, the failure of the state to provide basic services for its citizens.

I write all this not only to talk about the daily features of the life we live here, but also to mention the wider social and ecological implications. Though it may look like only a short cut, these are in fact the symptoms of a crisis.

And it strikes me that the exploitation of natural resources will not appear in a bang or any type of sudden shift. They will not suddenly explode in our face like a volcano or an earthquake, forcing us to pay attention. The changes will be more gradual, and therefore easier to ignore. It will be a series of small but mounting frustrations, inconveniences, and hardships that must be borne each day. Over time, each day, each summer, each year, the inconveniences will become slightly worse, the quality of life will slide down a notch.

It´s needing to shower and not being able to. It´s having to cook in the dark. It´s an hour long traffic jam on the way home because the roads are bad, the volume of automobiles too heavy. All of this places daily hardships on individuals, but also serves to reduce the flow of commerce, endangers health, encourages crime, and forces the consumption of scarce natural resources. For the poorest people in society, the problems are greatest, as the rich will maintain the ability to insulate themselves from these problems.

We ignore these symptoms at our own peril. These reoccurring shortages underscore the urgent need to develop sustainable solutions for energy needs, ones that are affordable and appropriate for developing countries. Devising and implementing solutions, done at the local level whenever possible, is the main challenge that we face.

My 24th Birthday

First off, thanks to everyone back in the States who took the time to wish me a happy birthday. I really appreciated getting those notes.

I had a great 24th birthday here in León with my friends. I was a little afraid they might get ¨Hayden´s birthday fatigue¨ since we celebrated it ten days ago, but we still had a very nice time.

After two special phone calls, I spent some time roaming around the city, shopping for the feast. Harry, Adam, Rufus, and I decided to cook up a paella. So I researched a recipe and bought all the ingredients. To this we added the bottle of red wine that I won at the trivia night at Via Via the night before. We gathered at the house in the evening and cooked up the meal. It was really delicious, a richly seasoned plate packed with shrimp and vegetables.

Then we headed up to the poker game, which featured seven members of the Quetzaltrekkers/Las Tias family. We played for several hours, drinking mojitos all the while. Luckily, or gracias a Dios, I was the top winner at the table, bringing home C$255.

To me, it was just nice to eat and play with my friends here. And I look forward to continuing the celebratory month with my friends and family back home in the States.

San Juan del Sur

After Michelle returned to the States, Ian and I headed from Granada down to the Pacific Coast for the weekend. San Juan del Sur is a small, touristy coastal town, the most popular place for accessing Nicaragua´s best beaches.

While in town, we stayed at the Casa del Oro, an easily place to meet fellow backpackers. There we had good seafood for dinner, swam in the ocean, and partied in the town´s hectic Saturday night scene. The next day we took a day trip up to Playa Maderas and Bahia Majagual. This is a very remote and beautiful stretch of coastline, ideal for surfing and swimming. As of yet, the infrastructure serving the area is very limited, and it´s possible to have a great deal of these white sand beaches, bordered on each side by interesting rock formations and wild forest, to yourself for the day.

We had a good time down in SJDS, and it was cool to soak of the scene there for the day or two.

Newsflash: Coming Home Early

I will be returning to the States ten days early, on Saturday, June 23, instead of on July 3 as I originally planned.

Deciding to come home early (instead of, say, extending a trip) feels contrary to my character, and I´m a little surprised I did it. But when I think about it, I know it was the right decision.

I´ve had an amazing time here in Nicaragua these past five and a half months. I´ve learned to speak Spanish, volunteered with at-risk kids in León, taught English, made friends, traveled up to México with Kamilla, and visited many places in this country. Though I have two weeks left, I feel like there´s nothing more I really want to do. I feel a little restless and bored, and though I of course need to improve my Spanish, there isn´t really enough time to take on a new project. After traveling with friends, family, and my girlfriend for so long, I don´t really have a desire to be on my own at the moment.

I had thought about taking a trip out to Bluefields, or down the Rio San Juan, or spending some more time tucked away on Ometepe, but when it came down to it, I couldn´t really motivate myself to undertake these excursions. The bus rides on terrible roads would have been unbelievably long, and I wasn´t convinced there was a great deal to see. More ominously, I haven´t been feeling so safe here lately, and wasn´t up for going to these remote areas on my own. So I decided to return to León for a few more days with my friends, in my city.

Satisfied with all that has occurred here, my thoughts have turned the future. I´m excited to reconnect with friends of the summer, and plan my coming move to Chicago as well. I need a flat (with flatmates), a computer, and a job. It´s a new and exciting thing for me.

In short, it feels like my time has come to a natural end, and I want to remember it as it is now. When I made the decision to come to Nicaragua last November, I booked a trip of six months. But that plan cannot really reflect the reality of the moment. It wasn´t expensive to change my ticket, so I made the decision. I´m happy with the way things are now, and I´m ready to come home next weekend.

Ninth Book: Ann Patchett´s ¨Bel Canto¨

I grabbed Ann Patchett´s ¨Bel Canto¨ from the bookshelf in Quetzaltrekkers. I finished it in five days. Reading it reminded me just how much joy I derive from reading. There´s a reason I enjoy virtually everything I read. The simple act alone is one of the great pleasures of my life.

Patchett´s story is about a state dinner party held in an South American country that gets taken over by terrorists. During the prolonged standoff, which lasts a few months, the terrorists and hostages (who all come from different lands and speak different languages) forge many surprising bonds. Feelings of friends, family, and even love springs up between them.

Patchett is adept at creating this world for the reader, and as I read little seemed implausible in her world. Rather, I loved the development of the characters, learning how they grow and change. They share a confined space, the mansion belonging to the Vice-President, and without fully realizing it, they share something of themselves as well.

This book ponders language and love, it explores desire and motives, and it deals with the idea of what it means for a person to forget or to remember. The reality of the characters change, and they end up in places that they never imagined.

Mr. Hosokawa had a private life now. He had always thought of himself as a private man, but now he saw that there was nothing in his life before that had been private. It didn´t mean that he had no secrets then and now he did. It was that now there was something that was strictly between himself and one other person, that it was so completely their own that it would have been pointless to even try to speak of it to someone else.
...
But he understood that these were extraordinary times, and if their old life was ever restored to them, nothing would be the same.
...
Maybe the private life wasn´t forever. Maybe everyone got it for a little while and then spent the rest of their lives remembering.

My favorite character in the book was the Japanese translator, Gen Watanbe, who happens speak virtually every language present at the dinner party. Yet over the course of that time something happens to Gen that he never expected. All of the characters like Gen, perhaps because he translated their words so smoothly that the speakers sometimes forgot his existence. It seems to me it is much the same with Patchett: She presents such a charming world, with so many desires and personality, that often the reader takes for granted the slight of hand necessary in creating such a story.

The Rise of Tourism in Nicaragua

Ever since the end of the Contra War in 1990, the economy of Nicaragua has been changing rapidly. Along with export-oriented agriculture and the service sector of the economy, tourism has become a growing source of income for Nicaragua.

In many ways, all Central American countries have been following this trend. Costa Rica, of course, was the first and most effective nation in the region to profit from American and European tourist dollars. Guatemala, too, has become extremely popular with backpackers. For those looking for a bit more of an experience "off the beaten path," Nicaragua, along with Panama, El Salvador, and Belize, are increasingly popular destinations.

Indeed, by some accounts, tourism in Nicaragua has grown at 133% per annum over the past several years. Projects that it seemed would take several years to get off the ground are now become popular in a much short time-frame. Tourists have been lured not just to the main destinations but also to smaller attractions in startling numbers. For this previously unheralded country, the effect is noticeable. The impact, unsurprisingly, is not all positive. Environmental destruction and cultural loss are too common outcomes. But Nicaragua is at an early stage in the development of its tourism industry where it's possible to put in place structures and institutions that respond to these concerns. It really is a critical time, and thus very interesting to be here.

Nicaragua has some awesome places to visit, and it's possible to visit many of them while doing some good. For instance, Quetzaltrekkers, the volunteer trekking and social action organization in León with which I was affiliated, offers trip to the volcanoes surrounding the city while the proceeds go to a school for at-risk children. Other NGOs in Managua and Granada run city tours that expose visitors to sites that the casual tourist might well miss. And on the Isla de Omtepe, there are many opportunities to stay on organic farms and visit the island's attractions in a sustainable way. Volunteering, I have found, is a great way to meet the local people, understand a bit of their world, and contribute in a small way.

Throughout the country, there are many tourism co-ops and small-scale projects designed to bring the benefit of increased tourism to the people. This is particularly true of Nicaragua's wild spaces, a great amount of which is protected through the system of natural reserves. It's important to get out there and find programs that are sustainable and run by local communities.

One cool thing about Nicaragua being a newer destination is that more opportunities exist to make the traveling experience something that the traveler actually wants. I've met many people here who are full of new ideas for the industry. Many of these are foreigners who have developed a great love for Nicaragua, but there are many locals doing innovative things as well.

In León, my friend Bart runs the Via Via, a popular hostel. He's now expanding and developing new partnerships with local Nicaraguans to increase tourism. Similarly, the Oasis in Granada is a hostel that has created quiet and peaceful spaces, full of the amenities (Internet, pool, hammocks and comfy chairs, free DVDs) that travelers hope to find along the way. A restful places like this, while still reasonably priced, allows travelers to recharge while positioning them to interact meaningfully with the culture around them.

The rise of tourism in Nicaragua presents a tremendous potential for the country, along with a few dangers. It's important to think critically about all the options available, and to support those with a beneficial social mission when the opportunity presents itself.

Isla de Ometepe (& Volcán Maderas)

The morning after the party, Michelle, Ian, and I headed down to Ometepe. Six hours and several cramped bus rides later, we arrived.

I was stunned by what we found. Ometepe became, over the course of our five days there, my favorite place in Nicaragua.

Ometepe is an island in the middle of Lago de Nicaragua, the largest lake in Central America. The island is unique because it has two awesome volcanoes on it. From the mainland, you look at them both rising up into the clouds, and it is an extraordinary sight. Volcán Concepcion is an active cone; it could blow at any moment. Slightly smaller Volcán Maderas is dormant, with cloudforests running down the sides and a crater lake at the top.

Ometepe is sparsely inhabited (only 35,000 people), with a few small towns and lots of small settlements. It is a place of jungle (low alitude topical rainforest and high altitude cloudforests) and farms. Much of the food grown there is organic, but we also saw that pesticides are increasingly common.

Despite the quiet and slow place of life, there is so much to do on Ometepe: There are lagoons and rivers and islands and beaches and forests and waterfalls and volcanoes. I felt I could have spent weeks there exploring, though it is not very big. The people are laid back and friendly. It was the kind of place one falls in love with.

Better still, I believe that Ometepe is best poised of any spot in Nicaragua for an explosion of sustainable eco-tourism. Saying this, I must note that Ometepe is no secret. The vast majority of tourists visit the island, and Nicaraguans love to vacation there as well (particularly during Semana Santa.) And the great news is that it´s quite accessible from Granada, Managaua, and the like.

But despite all this interest and acclaim, the tourist infrastructure is not highly developed. There is a great chance to employ sustainable technologies and agriculture strategies in order to preserve the beauty of the place while opening up to more visitors. And because it was the off-season there, we had a little extra peace.

Michelle, Ian, and I got along great: we had a nice dynamic amongst the three of us. We stayed our first night near Chaco Verde, in a sweet little hotel called Pasado Chico Largo. This is right on the beach, and we swam and ate an enormous fish for dinner.

On our second day we visited the natural reserve there, walking along the beach with sea turtles. From there we hitch-hiked to Finca Magdalina, which is one of the most famous spots to stay. It´s a working farm that is situated right on the trail to Maderas. There are also stunning views of Concepcion and the beaches, and from my hammock I could watch explosive lightning storms off in the distance.

On our third day in Ometepe the three of us hiked Volcan Maderas (1374 m) with our guide Manuel. It´s a bit of a tiring climb, but the views and the entrance into the cloudforest rewards. The crater lake is something else, a green expanse hidden beneath Maderas´ fog. We loved it there. At the finca we met a bunch of really cool travelers, and it was fun to hang out with them.

On the fourth day we took the bus to the beach at Playa Santo Domingo and lazed around in the water there. After lunch we walked up to a swimming hole named El Ojo del Aqua. This was particularly fun because this beautiful spot had a rope-swing, and we enjoyed all this toy had to offer.

On the fifth day we headed home, taking a pick-up truck for an hour and a half to the ferry terminal; the roads are horrible on Ometepe. But we had lots of fun. It´s a special place, and with just two weeks remaining in my time in Nicaragua I´m not convinced that I won´t head back there one more time.

My 24th Birthday Party

On Saturday night in León, my friends and I got together to throw a party. Originally, the idea was that it would be a house-warming party for Rufus and Harry, who are now renting their own place. But when our group of friends heard from an anonymous source that my 24th birthday was coming up later this month, we added the celebration to the agenda.

Last year in India I celebrated my 23rd birthday completely by myself; I didn´t even speak of it once to another person. But the experience made me feel rather sad. And I vowed not to let my 24th, which might be spent alone again in a foreign land, slip away. So I took the opportunity to share it with my friends in León.

It was a big party for our standards, with approximately 25 attending. All the people in our scene were there. Harry, Rufus, and Adam: my closest buddies. All the Quetzaltrekkers volunteers, new and old. Bart and his girlfriend Veronique, the owners of Via Via. That Dutch girl whose boyfriend is in jail, or something. Not to mention many of the Nicas we know. And then some additions from outside: Karina, my Duke friend working in Masaya, and a couple of her friends. And Michelle, visiting from NY, with her friend Ian.

Harry and Rufus´ house was filled with more bottles of Flor de Caña rum than pieces of furniture. The only decorations to speak of were candles with seashells as holders. There was also a cardboard box filled with vodka jello shots. And there was a cake, a delicious chocolate birthday cake.

Best of all, I bought myself a piñata. I had wanted one for the longest time. But for all the other birthdays we celebrated I was somehow denied. So I went out and bought it myself: It cost US$6. It was a multicolored clown.

After several hours of hanging out and drinking, we sang the song and cut the cake. I also made a speech, as I am prone to doing, but this one was somewhat more sprawling than my previous farewell speech.

Then came the piñata, which Ian and Harry expertly operated. I was pretty drunk at this point, so I seem to remember the piñata beating me up. It was fun though. And lots of us took swings at it. Of course, it fell to Hannah, our resident tough girl, to split that clown open and send those candies sprawling across the floor.

Altogether, I had an excellent time, happy to celebrate with friends.

What This Blog Is About

This has all happened a little differently than I thought it would. I came to Central America knowing little, and at first communication was a real struggle. I´ve used this blog as a space to write about my daily life. I´m primarily writing for myself: I have the feeling that this blog, and the five journals that I´ve scribbled in, will be a great present to myself in my old age.

But of course, I´m writing for you -- my friends and family -- as well. I want to let you know a little bit about what my life is like here. And when I can, I want to explain a bit about the people of Nicaragua, their history and culture, as I encounter it.

But while I´m trying to share my experiences with you, it is tricky sometimes to know how I should write about my own emotions. Mostly I´ve been happy here, and I´m certainly very glad I came. But I´m never sure exactly what people want to hear: I get the sense that both raving and complaining get obnoxious. Yet one must speak from the heart if one is to say something important. And when it comes to emotions, the truth is always more complex anyway.

When I first arrived it was lonely, and it took me a while to make friends. I just accepted that though, for I was used to it from India. I didn´t expect much at first, but I soon found that I hungered for friendships and connections. Over the course of weeks and months, however, things fell into place with my work, my group of friends in León, and then with Kamilla. During my final weeks in León, I was having one of the great times of my life: it was really perfect for me. And luckily, my travels around Central America were also as enjoyable. Now, though, that my work is finished and my family´s visit has finished, I think I´ll struggle a bit in these last few weeks: It feels like a lot of things have passed by before this is over and I´ll have to find a way to make this period of time meaningful. Just another challenge, really. I´ll face many more when I get home and move to Chicago.

Upon departing for Nicaragua, I had visions that I would be talking to people about the Sandinista Revolution and the Contra War, the way this country is developing, and what they hope for Nicaragua in the future. I do talk about these things with people sometimes, but it is not my main focus. At first, the language barrier made that impossible; it continues to make it difficult. But more to the point, these just aren´t the things that people think about each day. They are just living their lives normal people: going to work, sending their kids to school, taking care of their family, enjoying their free time when they get it. Daily life is rarely spectacular. And so it is that I´m writing about perhaps more superficial topics: the hammocks, the frescoes, the volcanoes, the small anecdotes I come across.

And when I think about it objectively, little that I´ve written in this spaces seems that gripping to me. While nice, none of this seems essential. If you want the best adventures and observations, you´ll have to go read my mass e-mails from India. Still, I´m pleased I´ve been able to document my experiences here so extensively. When I return home, I look forward to sprucing up this blog with the links and pictures I´ve thus far deprived you of. I think the blog will be a useful tool for finalizing my reflections on Nicaragua.

I know that one day it is my great ambition to write a book that speaks to core beliefs and experiences of a people, that expresses powerfully how political and environmental changes affect communities in individuals in the developing world. I think a work such as that will take a career to produce. And I´m ready for that. Perhaps now I´m just gaining the skills (linguistic, writing, personal, etc.) to do this. For now though I am just content to write about the life I´m living, exploring this place as a 23 year-old volunteering abroad in Central America.

Eighth Book: Gioconda Belli´s ¨The Country Under My Skin¨

The truth is this: It has always been books that have sent me places.

After reading Ayi Kwei Armah´s classic post-colonial novel ¨The Beautiful Ones Are Not Yet Born,¨ I decided I needed to go to Ghana to see the place he wrote about so evocatively for myself. Similarly, when I decided last fall to move to Central America to learn how to speak Spanish, the thought of one country immediately jumped out at me. During my senior year of college, I read Gioconda Belli´s celebrated memoir about Nicaragua, ¨The Country Under My Skin.¨

And so along with wanting to go to a cheap and relatively untouristed country, and to a country where the need was very great (Nicaragua is the second poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere, after Haiti), I wanted again to see for myself a world that had once been so richly created for me in words. And so knowing little else, knowing not a soul or a word of Spanish, I bought a plane ticket for Managua.

Having lived in Nicaragua for five months now, I decided that it was time to pick up this book again and re-read it from my newly gained perspective. Belli is an award-winning poet and a Sandinista operative. This ¨memoir of love and war¨ explores the fusion between her personal journey and the turmoil of her country during the 1970s and 1980s. She is a woman with many different identities -- writer and worker, militant and mother -- and this book explores the nexus and the conflicts that arise between these strands over time. She writes passionately about clandestine operations and sensual love affairs. She tells of fallen comrades and dangerous missions. She tells of failed marriages and family struggles. And yet there is an optimistic strand that runs through this book. It is the type of joy that comes when you see another living life fully, pursuing a course with all her heart.

This time I was reading her account of Nicaragua´s political developments more closely. She had deep contact, friendships, and sometimes relations with the most powerful members of the Sandinista movement. I wanted to read her impressions of Daniel Ortega, his brother Humberto, his wife Rosario, and other members of the National Directorate more closely. She describes with great deal the divisions, personal and ideological, that arose within the Sandinistas. She also became acquainted with Fidel Castro of Cuba and General Torrijos of Panama. I was paying closer attention to her description of the battles and movements during the revolution, the impact on places like Managua, León, and the Northern Highlands. Interesting, she accuses the current President of Nicaragua Daniel Ortega (whom she knows well) of betraying the spirit of the revolution by supressing dissent and using any means available to maintain his grip on power.

One thing I like about her writing is the way she sees the connection between her political cause and her personal growth as a woman. She writes profoundly about what it meant to be a Sandinista, what it meant to devote your life to this struggle:

Were we all mad? What mystery in the human genes accounted for the fact that men and women could override their personal survival instincts when the fate of their tribe or the collective was at stake? What was it that enabled people to give their lives for an idea, for the freedom of others? Why was the heroic impulse so strong? What I found most bewildering and extraordinary was the real happiness and fulfillment that came along with commitment. Life acquired unequivocal meaning, purpose, and direction. It was a sensation of complete, utter complicity, a visceral emotional bond with hundreds of anonymous faces, an intimacy of multitudes in which any feeling of loneliness or isolation simply evaporated. In the struggle for everyone´s happiness, the first happiness one found was one´s own.

The story of the Sandinista Revolution is the story in fact of two wars: The first was a guerrilla war that culminated in 1979 by removing the Somoza dictatorship from power. But after that feeling of euphoria, of overthrowing a dictatorship that lasted 43 years, a broken country was forced again into another more costly and ruinous war. When Reagan became President in 1981, he began funding the Contras, who invaded Nicaragua from Honduras. It was only at the end of the decade that this illegal and profoundly immoral activity came to a close. The result was ruinous for Nicaragua and for the Sandinista program.

Belli describes many victories and setbacks, yetthe overall tone remains triumphant. This is a story about what it is possible to do with a life. In this vein, Belli quotes the words of an anonymous Vietnamese poet:

We fill the craters left by the bombs
And once again we sing
And once again we sow
Because life never surrenders.

(Next up: Ann Patchett´s ¨Bel Canto¨)

On Being Back in León

When I first arrived in León on Sunday, I was thrilled to be back. This is, after all, my city, my home. It was such a good feeling to be walking along these streets and hanging out with my friends again. It seemed like I couldn´t go ten minutes without running into someone I knew, and everyone was so pleasantly surprised to see me again after so long. Of all the places I´ve visited in Central America on this trip, I like León the best.

But after a day or so, after that initial rush subsided, it began to feel strange. The truth is that what I loved was León the way I left it at the beginning of April. That was what I missed. The routine of my days and the feeling of complete comfort. Now it felt empty, like something was absent. Like I no longer belonged here. To be frank, it has been a bit of a disorienting experience.

And I missed people: I missed walking down the street with my girlfriend. I missed chatting in the Quetzal Trekker house with Nick and Jessica. I missed lounging in hammocks on my balcony with Allie and Janine. I missed watching Kolja´s face when he went all-in (again!) at poker. Although I still had Harry, Adam, and Rufus around, among many others, it seemed like times had passed me by a bit. There were new volunteers in old rooms, and though they all seem cool, what I lack is the same history and comfort with them.

And I missed my work, my daily trips to school on my bicycle. I missed being a part of my student´s lives, that they would look forward to seeing me everyday and I would look forward to seeing them. I missed hanging out with my friends Karla and Adela, chatting with David, or having class with Idania and Johania. When I went back to visit, the sensation was awkward even though it was great to see them again. Since I was no longer involved with their day-to-day lives, I felt like a ghost visiting from the past, half gone.

Overall, it still has been cool to be back, and to show Michelle my city. There have been great home-cooked dinners, lunches out at La Buen Cuchara, poker games, drinks at Via Via, live music at La Olla Quemada, frescos in the market, etc. But I also see that the magic that I felt here remains embedded in the memories of two months ago. It is something that cannot be recaptured.

And so this Sunday I will leave León again. Michelle and I will travel down to Ometepe for a week, and I´ll spend the remainder of June exploring Nicaragua on my own. I´ll return to León again at the beginning of July, just before I depart Nicaragua for good. But I won´t harbor the same illusions. Sometimes the beauty of an experience is that it is fleeting, and that forces one to therefore hold onto it tighter.

Seventh Book: Truman Capote´s ¨In Cold Blood¨

After having watched the acclaimed film Capote, staring Philip Seymour Hoffman, I decided I ought to read the novel on which the film centers. Truman Capote´s ¨In Cold Blood¨made waves when it was first published, and it´s not difficult to see why. Although this is a work of non-fiction, it doesn´t read like it. Instead, it has the gripping feel of a thriller. Set in a rural town in Kansas in 1959, ¨In Cold Blood¨ describes the brutal murder of four members of the Clutter family, and how their killers were ultimately brought to justice.

Americans love stories about crime, and this certainly fills this need in the national psyche. I was transfixed by the scenes in the book describing the actual murders, and the following investigation, capture, interrogation, and trial of the killers. It was also interesting to track the lasting social impact of the murders on this small town. I was a little less interested by the psychological profile of Perry, on which Capote devotes much time. Nevertheless, Capote is a master of pacing; reading this book is like watching an episode of C.S.I.

As a writer of non-fiction, I am also interested in how how the authors glean their information, how they draw their informants into their confidences, particularly when the subjects can be so painful. This to me is the genius of this book: the fact that Capote successfully got the killers themselves, the investigators, the family members, and the townspeople to recreate for him the course of events that must have been very intense for them.

(Next up: Gioconda Belli´s ¨The Country Under My Skin¨)

Newsflash: Back in León and Michelle is Here!

On Saturday morning, I returned to Nicaragua after a one month absence. I was excited to come back.

I proceeded from Costa Rica to the town of Masaya, where I met up with a friend from Duke, Karina. I walked around the markets with her for a while, purchasing the two hammocks I plan on bringing home. Then we hopped in a van, headed for Managua. We met up with another volunteer friend of hers, Maddy, from the States. After a big dinner and bigger conversation at a nearby fritanga, we headed out to the bars and clubs of Managua. It was my first time going out in this oft-intimidating city, so that was exciting.

The next morning, Sunday, I returned to León. Very excited to make this drive home. And who did I find on the street but my good buddies Harry and Rufus? They immediately invited me to stay in the new house they are renting. I strung up a hammock there, excited to be back among friends. The rest of the day was a blur of seeing old friends, catching up, wandering around. The rains have altered this once dry city. That night, of course, we cooked dinner and played poker: And I won 240 cordobas! Good to be back.

But most exciting of all, my good friend Michelle from Duke is here. Turns out my reports of Nicaragua have proven irresistible to her, and she came for a two week visit. First she´ll study Spanish at the Casa de Cultura (she has my same teacher, in fact!) Then we´ll head to the Isla de Ometepe next Sunday for a week of exploring Nicaragua´s famed and exotic volcanic island.

So it´s nice to be back in my adopted hometown, and I´ve got some fun things to look forward to.

Tamarindo

After Arenal, we drove to Playa Tamarindo, where I spent a few relaxing days on the beach with my family. We stayed at Hotel Capitan Suizo, and its leafy gardens were set right against the water. The weather was warm and partly cloudy throughout.

There weren´t many activities to do here, so the highlights were mainly just relaxed on the beach and ate delicious seafood. We also made one day trip over to Playa Grande, which is a nesting site for leatherback turtles in the breeding season. For the most part though, it was just good to hang out with my family, as that was pretty much the point of the vacation.