Remembering Sundari Bai

This weekend I received some sad news. Sundari Bai, the cook at GRAVIS and a close friend of mine from my time in India, past away last week from cancer. She lived a full life, and will be dearly missed by her family and everyone at the organization.

Upon hearing the news, I wrote these words of recollection to Prakash. I´d like to honor Sundari Bai´s memory by sharing them here:

Dear GRAVIS,

I am writing to express my condolences regarding the passing of Sundari Bai. She was an important member of the GRAVIS family, having been with the organization almost since its inception. More significantly, she embodied the character and values of this organization, and her presence there -- quiet but strong -- will be greatly missed. To Shanti Bai, Prem, and the rest of Sundari Bai´s family, I´d especially like to express my condolences, as surely this is a very sorrowful and difficult time for them.

I first met Sundari Bai in July 2005, on my first day at GRAVIS. During the ten months I spent there as a Research Assistant, I became very close to her. We couldn´t communicate very much in Hindi, but I think we both felt that our bond was deeper than words. And this was one of the great lessons of my time in India: No matter what our differences, there is something strongly human that binds us together. And everyone -- no matter what their life experience or background -- has something to contribute.

I have so many memories of her, from the first meal I ate at GRAVIS to my very last day in Jodhpur. During my first week, Sundari Bai would sometimes come into my room to check on me, and marvel at all the strange objects (the alarm clock, the plastic toothbrush holder) strewn out on my bed. I particularly remember one time for some reason I needed to fill a very large pot with boiling water, and how she helped me, and how we did this quietly but together, and how much I enjoyed sharing that little moment with her.

Most vividly, perhaps, I remember my last days in Jodhpur. As a goodbye present she bought me a new shirt; I knew this was no small cost for her and I think I only fully understood then, as I was leaving, how we had grown to care about each other, how indeed I had come to love her. Saying goodbye to her made leaving difficult. She was a special presence in my life in India. Since I left the country, I have often missed having her around. I will never forget her.

It is also important to mention that she was very dedicated to her work with GRAVIS. Sundari Bai was a wonderful cook, and she kept the house and office running smoothly. I came to see her as one of the people that sustained us as an organization. Her presence at GRAVIS was a constant: There was the sure sweep of her red skirt above her bare feet on the floor, her capable hands, and her knowing smile. Although this is a sad time now, I know that my life -- and indeed all of ours who knew and cared for her -- has been enriched by her presence.

With regards,
Hayden